No matter what happened, no matter who did it, it was not your fault. It is not your fault.
If it is still going on in your head, long after the event, or events, it is not your fault.
Think of it, if you can, as caught up in the love of God by Christ. You and your memories, whether recent or distant, are caught up by Christ from his position of being abused on the cross. He holds you in the pain, whether it is going on at the present time, or in the past.
But even more than that, you are beautiful and loved, as he in his risen body is beautiful and loved by his Father, who is also your Father.
He calls you by your own name, even if it is the name the abuser called you. The risen and beautiful Christ, in whose glory you share, calls you by your name. Answer him with whatever name feels right to you.